


How To Woo An Illidari In Two Simple Steps, by Tehd Shoemaker

by Naomida



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Demon Hunter Courting, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 14:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10538436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naomida/pseuds/Naomida
Summary: Prince Farondis has problems with his love life but thankfully Tehd decides to help him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, Illidan canonically called Tehd "Marius' pet", nothing can stop me anymore.

Farondis didn’t understand. He knew that being a ghost and hiding from the entire world because of his shame for thousands of years probably hadn’t helped his social skills, but he was pretty sure the problem he was encountering wasn’t his fault.

He also knew that it wasn’t because of his very undeadness, since the heroes of Azeroth had, somehow, managed to break the curse he had placed on himself and his people and they were all back to being very much alive.

Really, he had tried to wait and think about what could have possibly made anyone refuse to even _acknowledge_ his courting like that and had come up with nothing – at least until a _very_ undead man came up from behind him, clasped him on the shoulder hard enough to make him wince and announced in a very hoarse voice: “They’re literally blind! If you want one of them to realize that you’re interested, you have to literally throw it into their face!”

Then the man laughed hard enough that Farondis feared for a second that his jaw was going to fall down on the ground, but the bone held up and Farondis sighed deeply before deciding that he was desperate enough to listen to any advice he could get.

“How do you know that it’s true?” he asked him once the man had finally stopped laughing.

“Went through it, first hand. It was pretty rough at first, with the whole Legion invasion going on at the same time and everything, but good ol’ Tehd is resourceful and already saw worst challenges. Here,” he said, stepping close to Farondis’ side and pointing with a bony finger to one of the many Illidari milling around their camp in Azsuna, “that’s mine. Marius. Wasn’t easy to fish up but once I managed to get his attention and made my intentions clear it was just a matter of days before he was falling into my arms.”

Farondis sent him a look that had Tehd laugh again, and while it was clear that it was from amusement, the Prince couldn’t help but cringe at how much it sounded like he was in pain.

“Don’t make that face! It’s all true! Good ol’ Tehd managed to woo the big bad demon hunter _and_ scare the fel out of all of his colleagues at the same time. It was a really great and productive week for me, no doubt about it, and there’s absolutely no reason it wouldn’t work for you either. You just need to get his attention, do something to make it clear that you’re _not_ just looking for someone to do your dirty work, throw in some demon slaying and you’re good to go. You’ll have your very own Illidari in a matter of days.”

Farondis raised an eyebrow, eyes going from Tehd to the demon hunter he had pointed out – and now that he was thinking about it, Farondis _had_ heard about an undead demonist and a demon hunter that couldn’t seem to be apart from each other for more than twelve minutes at a time.

He didn’t really have anything to lose at this point anyway, so after just a beat he turned back to Tehd and nodded slightly.

“Alright. How did you get his attention and impressed him, exactly?”

“Oh easy!” exclaimed Tehd with a dismissive flap of his hand, “I summoned and threw an imp at him. You should have seen his face as the thing clawed at his face and he just stood there, staring at me with this vaguely menacing and incredulous look! It was great!”

Farondis couldn’t hold back his own incredulity, which had the demonist laughing again, loud enough this time that the demon hunter he was talking about, although he was standing a very respectful distance away, looked up at them and seemed to be frowning. Or maybe it was just his face, Farondis still had trouble differentiating the two.

“Anyway,” said Tehd once he was calm enough to speak again, “obviously you won’t be able to use the same trick, but I’m sure you’ll find something. I’m sure even just wrestling against a demon twice your height should be enough.”

Farondis wasn’t sure it was better.

“But enough talk about boring things, who is it?” he asked, making a face that suggested that had he still been having enough eyebrows to do so, he would have wriggled them.

“I, uh...” Farondis cleared his throat, feeling the tip of his ears warm up as he tried to tell himself that he was too old to feel embarrassed about having a crush on someone, no matter how embarrassing that crush was.

He looked around the camp, knowing that there was no way anyone could miss the one demon hunter he was looking for, and sure enough, after squinting at the distance, the one he was looking for appeared in his sight, coming out of a crumbling building, flanked by two Illidari that were closely listening to what he was saying.

Farondis must have made a face, because Tehd followed his gaze without having to be told and shielded his eyes with a bony hand, squinting at the three Illidari.

“A blood elf? Really?” he asked after a beat, making Farondis’ ears feel even warmer than before.

“No, not him.”

“Oh come on! You won’t have me believe that you’re interested in Asha! I know she is no girly girl but even you have to be aware that female are not your thing, because let me tell you, everyone else does.”

Farondis was pretty sure his ears were completely crimson red instead of their usual soft pink by this point, and he could feel the heat coming from them reach his cheekbones, but he reminded himself that he had nothing to lose except maybe some dignity – he wasn’t naive enough to think that he still had any pride left with the way he had let his people treat him for so long.

“No,” he told the undead man after taking a long breath in through his nose. “Not her.”

Tehd threw him a confused look before looking back again at the three approaching Illidari and squinting some more.

“If it’s not her or the pretty boy then...” he gasped, turning round eyes to Farondis who nodded slightly, feeling a little mortified as the demonist immediately broke into very loud and very sinister laughter.

The sound was terrible enough that almost half of the camp turned to look at them, the three Illidari included, and Farondis didn’t miss the way his heart jumped _just a little_ when the subject of their conversation saw him and immediately started walking straight to him instead of continuing with the direction he had been previously following.

Tehd didn’t stop laughing, in fact he started laughing even louder and snorting too when the three demon hunters reached them and, while Asha and the other one that Farondis thought was named Kayn politely nodded at him, the third one saluted him with a sober “Prince.”

“Oh boy!” exclaimed Tehd before Farondis could reply, “Illidan Stormrage, really?!”

He then dissolved into giggles as the three demon hunters threw him strange looks and Farondis prayed for an entire army of naga to suddenly come out of nowhere and take his life.

“Wrestling a demon is certainly _not_ going to be enough, that’s for sure, and I really want to see what you’re going to try instead!” he continued after a moment, managing to stop giggling long enough to speak before starting again.

Farondis received three confused looks and started praying harder.

Asha groaned, turned around and left.

“Hey Marius!” Kayn called over his shoulder, “your pet’s broken, come take a look!”

In a second Marius was standing next to Tehd, who immediately hid his face against the demon hunter’s shoulder, still giggling and not seeming to mind the fact that he was being manhandled away by a grumbling Illidari.

“Kayn, go, we’ll finish later,” said Illidan, his eyes never seeming to have left Farondis’ face since he had seen him – although, with the blindfold, it was maybe just wishful thinking on the prince’s part.

Kayn nodded once before dashing away, leaving them alone.

“Well,” said Illidan once it was clear that the other elf, who was still petrified with mortification, wouldn’t speak, “what are you doing here?”

“I, uh...” started Farondis before clearing his throat and pulling himself taller. _Nothing to lose_. “I wanted to know if you were free right now and would like to go kill some nagas with me.”

Illidan’s eyebrows drew closer with perplexity but he slowly nodded.

“Alright,” he said, slowly, “why not.”

“Good.”

“Was this all?”

Farondis forced himself to keep looking at his face and not look down in timidness like he wanted to – because if he looked down, he knew he would see the demon hunter’s very naked chest and it wouldn’t help him remember how words worked.

“Yes. I mean, maybe. If there’s more I’ll tell you.”

Illidan frowned harder but didn’t insist.

“Alright,” he said, “let’s go then, after you.”

As he started leading the way to the closest spot of naga he knew of, Farondis couldn’t help but smile to himself, feeling prouder than he was embarrassed as the leader of the Illidari followed him and responded to his polite small talk.

He had his attention, now he just needed to impress him.


End file.
